I have some questions for everyone. I wants lots of opinions... although I'll be surprised if I get many.
1) Can you love someone and hate them at the same time? For example a teenager having a fight with their parent obviously at that moment they hate their parent. Do they only hate them and then switch to loving them again later? Or do they hate them and love them at the same time? I find this interesting because the most negative energy (hate I guess) I ever feel towards anyone is always people I love the most, like best friends, family, partners. If you're not that close to me I'm just not going to get emotional hurt or feel strongly negative towards you. I personally think hate and love are very strongly connected, and I'd like to think that hate and love can coexist towards the same person.
2) Does unconditional love actually exist on earth or is it just a nice concept? For example if you love someone, you might say you love them unconditionally, but then if they cheated on you would you still love them? I don't know - I think it goes back to the can you hate them and love them at the same time question. If you can hate and love at the same time then maybe unconditional love does exist. If you can't then I think if unconditional love exists it may only be in a parent-child relationship, not to say that all parents love their children unconditionally, but I think mine do.
3) Does anyone else think the Pearl Jam song Help Help sounds a lot like the songs on Dave Navarro's trust no one? I do.
:-) M
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6 comments:
Hi!
No I don't don't think you can really hate someone you love. Like if you're having a fight with your parent/brother you might be really annoyed at them at the time but you don't hate them. And you still love them.
And yes unconditional love exists!! Of course it does!
If someone cheated on you you may decide you can't trust them and therefore don't want to be with them but that doesn't neccessarily mean stop you loving them
I don't know the song sorry
Thanks Kim :-)
It's hard though because sometimes the people in the argument do say they hate each other. I suppose that just comes out of frustration and anger, I think I told my Mum I hated her a thousand times.
And I guess you can hate the way the person is making you feel, which is not the same as hating the person.
hi mindy
You can hate ways that people act and things that they sometimes do without hating the person themself and only in this sense can the two co-exist. Because you are exposed to people close to you more, you will have more opportunity to see those habits you don't like and it is easiest to focus on those to the point where the upswelling of hate may feel overwhelming. You also lose the big picture more frequently as you are caught up in it all - especially if you have a tendency to be emotionally dependent and let the way the other person acts affect you or your feelings about them.
A true being of inner peace would be able to let those things go and love all the time but reality is it is very hard in today's world and the best you can do is to try hard to get some balance.
Develop your compassion to the world and remember that you can't change what someone does, but you can change how you feel about it. Most issues we have with others are reflections of our own issues - next time you find yourself hating someone else, ask what it has triggered for you rather than focusing on what they have done.
If this is indeed a question stemming from something that has come up for you then please remember the best type of unconditional love is unconditional love to yourself. Support yourself even when you are acting or feeling a way you don't like so much and remember that something that seems terrible is actually a beautiful gift from another perspective.
It's a quarter to ten. The strain is creeping in and i know just what i'm going to do next.
ed
Hi Mindy,
Unconditional love: Definitely towards kids, but probably not by all parents. Between partners - if you were a very special person, you'd be capable of it, but I don't think everyone is. I love Karthik, but if he didn't treat me nicely and started being horrible, then eventually I wouldn't love him anymore.
Hate and Love: Yes, you can hate someone and love them at the same time - they are the closest things. I think that sometimes you feel love intensely, but the rest of the time that you're not consciously feeling it it's still true - so when you're eating your sandwich you might not be thinking of someone but you still love them - when you hate them you might still have that background love going on. There are some people that you hate that you never loved though. But in most cases, it's people you love. I agree with Kelly - love doesn't die in a second, it slowly goes away. And also ed was right - you can't change always what people do, but you can try and change your reactions :) Sometimes I forget that.
Who are all these commenters today Min? I think you asked some important questions!
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