I had an interesting night last night, below is a portion of an email I have just composed to send to the supermarket ASDA where I buy my groceries:
I had the very disconcerting experience last night of awakening to the sound of an explosion in my kitchen. I went in to investigate and found that a bottle of ASDA diet coke had exploded out the bottom of the bottle in my cupboard. It was one of a four pack which had not been opened. As you can imagine this caused considerable damage to the other grocery products in that cupboard not to mention a huge mess! I'd just finished cleaning it up when a second bottle from the four exploded. I quickly undid the lids on the remaining two bottles. The first bottle exploded at 3.45am and then next at 4.10am.
The coke had been purchased on Tuesday 19/08/2008 and had not been shaken or in other way strangely handled. I had simply purchased it from the Doncaster ASDA, put it in my car, driven home, then put it away in the cupboard. The cupboard is just a normal cupboard where I keep coke and other grocery items.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Hello all! I suddenly got inspired to write this blog detailing the stupid things I've done in my life. As I started thinking about it there were more than I realised! Bearing in mind that historic stupidities will probably only be in my memory if they had sufficient impact on my life. Now don't worry - I'm not depressed and fishing for compliments, this is purely a piece for your amusement! I know I'm cool and great my list of cool things I've done will probably be much longer!
In the last 24 hours
In the last 24 hours
- Put pepper instead of salt in my porridge
- Biked halfway to work realised I'd forgotten my ID tag
- Got excited when I saw I had a new email, then realised it was from me
- Accidently sent myself an email that I meant to send to someone else
- Took a big hard bite on my apple and managed to somehow bite the ulcer on my lip at the same time
- Hit myself in the head with a pot - seriously - accidentally too!
- Heated a knife on the stove to assist with chopping frozen meat, then pressed down on the knife with my finger. I now have a very straight edged burn scar :)
- Dropped a jar on my big toe nail. I now have a beautiful blue toe nail
- Put the indicator on in the car instead of putting the windscreen wiper on
- Put the back windscreen wiper on instead of the front one
- Opened the fridge in such a way that an egg from the egg holder in the top shelf of the door had an abrupt meeting with the floor
- Opened the fridge in such a way the top shelf of the door fell out, broke, and the egg that was on the top shelf also broke (separate occasion to the one above)
- Straight out dropped an egg on the floor (I haven't been having a good month with eggs)
- Ran into the back of someone at traffic lights while engrossed in conversation with Lara - luckily I was going VERY slowly so no damage to either car
- Got a text from the "bank" asking me to ring a number, rang that number and was asked for my account number and password, gave these. Luckily for me it was actually the bank. But it was a stupid thing to do!
- Barged into a locked door expecting it to open - a security card swiping system had been installed a month earlier
- Opening the car door in such a way that it whacks me in the head - I do this often - it's got some kind of nasty spring on it
- Constantly (at least once a fortnight) attempting to drink and missing my mouth
- Constantly dropping my cell phone on the ground (I now have one with a nice strong metal faceplate)
- Returned from a run ,walked in our office kitchen, got a drink and biscuit then went into my office only to realise it was not my office - I was on the wrong floor! We'd shifted floors a few weeks earlier
- Frequently walking into door frames
- Not once but twice put a plastic bowl containing bread dough into an oven turned up to full - the intention was to turn it to full for a minute or so, then turn it off completely and it would be a nice warm environment for the dough to rise in. Melted plastic flavoured bread anyone?
- Won a bulk auction of what I assumed were 30 dvds - the turned out to be video cassettes - Darren helped me commit this one :)
- Broke my little toe by banging into our couch in the dark
- The hair dying fiasco of summer 2006/7
- Not once but twice left my wallet on the seat in a public place, once a mall, once an airport, once I got it back, once I didn't :(
- Left a bag of my Christmas shopping on the floor in a shop where I'd put it down to look at something - realised sometime later and had to retrace me steps to find it!
- Bounced on Mum and Dad's bed and broke the glass light shade with my head
- Was concentrating intently on sewing a felt Christmas decoration for our tree that I didn't notice I'd sewen it onto my skirt
- Decided that it was up to me to discipline Amy for jumping on her own bed so pushed her off onto a very sharp corned stereo (sorry Ame - she still has the scar on her back)
- Decided to help Dad out and started painting the garage floor and did what I'm sure was a very professional looking job for a 3 year old!
- My favourite: Bought the running hose inside, I think it was to help Mum water the plants but to be honest I have no recollection of this, however my parents however do!